Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Death, Babies, and Wrecks: What to tell a preschooler?

Why did our car break? Why did we have an accident? Why did we hit that man in the semi? Why…

For the past three weeks, I have had three thousand questions like this. We’ve learned the word “accident,” we’ve talked about what happened, we have discussed and discussed this thing – with a four year old! And once she told me while driving, “Mama, don’t have an accident!”

The week before Blair’s party, we took her to the doctor and found out she had her first ear infection and walking pneumonia. (I usually take her right in or at least call. But we’ve done it over and over; and we have oxygen, meds, and nebulizer at home to deal with this stuff. So mother of the year here kept her home for 7 days before taking her in. She’s a fever runner – 10–14 days with every cold she’s had. I just figured it was the same thing. But the fever was coming down and then two days later it went way back up.)

So on the way home we had an accident on the interstate. (Blair’s doctor is over an hour from our house.) It was just God that we weren’t hurt. None of the four of us was hurt at all. I still cannot even figure out how that happened. Brad’s reaction could not have been better. My mom even said she would never have thought to do what he did. I just know that it was God.

We finally got another car today! It’s the same vehicle but a different color. Blair doesn’t seem to be bothered by the actual accident; thankfully, she woke up right after it happened. But she worries. She asks about the side mirror being gone. She asks why the car can’t be fixed. She asks… everything.

I guess change is a hard thing for all kids? I thought she would never quit asking about my old car when we sold it last fall! And the new one was so much better – it even played movies! So this time I made a big deal about getting a new car seat, and I let her pick out the fabric. She loves it. I hope now that we have a car she’ll move on. I just don’t want her to worry!

Stuff like this with young ones is so hard. In the past year we’ve had to talk about death and babies and now accidents. It’s so hard to know where the information limit line is. Telling her the truth is important to me. But you know, you want to explain it to them and be truthful, but you don’t want to put too much on them. Thank goodness I had a c-section with Leighton, because I didn’t know what I was going to tell her about having a baby! We all just do the best we can, right?


Candi James said...

Ashlee! I am so so happy that none of you were hurt in that accident. With it being on the interstate...gosh I just cannot bear thinking how bad it could have been. Yes! God was with you I am doubt! I believe that.

Bless that Blair with all the questions, she is something else.
I can just hear her....change is hard on her but she certainly isn't the only one....there are tons of us out there that can hardly bear change.

She sounds like to me that she is craving to understand things, and I think that is great. She is a smart little girl!! Her inquisitivity will make her smartER!

I tell ya', She, herself, is one beautiful gift from God! My how you all are blessed to have each other!!!

Cow Pies & Mud Pies said...

Thank GOD you guys were all safe! Sounds really scary to me.
Oh how I remember the "whys" of everything...I felt the same way, truth was best...but finding the limit was difficult at times. I'm sure you are doing a GREAT job!
Kids really don't miss a thing do they??
Take care.